I'm Sorry

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last blog. I hate it when the other blogs I read just stop and now I'm guilty of it! Forgive me? Anyway, I've regained 10 pounds and I'm upset. I've started back on the bad habits and I can't stop myself. It's like I no longer can control myself. I use to be all about self discipline but something happened when I got older. When I was younger I was able to with stand peer pressure. No, I mean really! I've been to a house party where everyone was drinking except me! I've been to a friends house where everyone was smoking pot except me! I just knew what the consequences where and I didn't do it, and believe me when I say I was called every name in the book because I wouldn't give in and try it! I didn't even have sex until I was 27! So what's wrong with me now? Why can't I control my eating! What has happened to me! I don't know and I think that's the problem.
For a while I thought, maybe I'm meant to be this fat and I should just live with it. Accept it and be proud of myself for the things I have achieve and not what I look like. But, that wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be proud of the fact that I just gave up. I wish I could be like the millions of people out there that are happy with themselves as they are and I'm proud of them too. So, here I am starting to watch what I eat again praying that this time I can stick to it for longer than a day or two.
The wedding I have to go to is 2 weeks away and I'm hoping for a miracle. I know 10 pounds in 2 weeks is a lot but I would at lest like to be the weight I was 2 months ago. I really hate being the fattest chick anywhere I go. Pray for me and I will be praying for all of you.
Mare